PASADENA, CA – Hoping to inspire the public, NASA announced a bold new plan today to terraform Earth, saying that one day, humanity may be able to realize the far-off, distant possibility of one day setting foot on a habitable planet.
“We know it’s a long-shot,” reads a NASA press release, adding that NASA is no stranger to big ideas and big project like golfing on the moon, performing a Bowie song in space, or sending nudes to aliens on Pioneer. “But we should embark on this project so one day our children’s children’s children.”
“If we just come together, we think we can do it!”
Citing the fact that Earth is in fact, far closer than Mars and Venus, NASA says it already has a series of satellites in orbit of the blue planet, scientists say colonies could be built in some of the habitable regions further to the north. The proposal is not without danger, as several experts warn of a cancerous landscape, with toxic atmosphere, and a potential to get hit by many of the native roving vehicles. Water could eventually be purified from the brackish tailing ponds left over by industrial mining operations, or even, taken from the black clouds of coal fired plants. It’s expected that, within 50 years, it could be possible to revive enough of the depleted soil to grow a tomato.
At press time, NASA refused to speculate on the existence of intelligent life on Earth.