TORONTO – Eric Bromley, a learned internationalist who clearly holds himself too sophisticated for such parochial pursuits as hockey or basketball, settled down to enjoy an English Premier …
Tag: Football
Puppy Bowl suspends black Lab for sitting during anthem
SILVER SPRING, MD – Causing a row in what was supposed to be a jubilant culmination of this year’s adorable puppies playing season, Animal Planet officials at the Puppy Bowl have suspended …
Touchdown celebration enters third day
PITTSBURGH, PA – The Pittsburgh Steelers have appeared to go above and beyond the expected victory march with their most recent touchdown celebration, which this afternoon surpassed the 70 …
Toronto Mayor John Tory smashes crack pipe to christen new Rob Ford Memorial Stadium
TORONTO – Mayor John Tory partook in a ceremony at the newly named Rob Ford Memorial Stadium this afternoon, christening the park by smashing a slightly burnt crack pipe against a concrete …
Blue Jays players warned to not risk injury by trying any more ‘baseball stuff’
TORONTO – Team Physician Dr. Jason Smith has warned the remaining healthy players on the Toronto Blue Jays not to try any more ‘baseball stuff’, as the risk of injury is too great. “There h…
FIFA reminds Trump to leave corruption, racism to the professionals
LONDON – In light of Donald Trump’s travel ban, FIFA president Gianni Infantino has said that the US could be prevented from hosting a future World Cup should the president continue to encr…
Atellia, Goddess of Light writes herself into fan fiction about average high school
CELESTIAL KINGDOM – In a move that had other omnipotent deities rolling their eyes, Atellia Goddess of Light has written herself into a fan fiction about a mid-sized suburban high school. I…
Patriots Super Bowl victory party gets out of hand
Things went a little too far……
TFC’s Giovinco tragically unable to stop scoring goals in everyday life
TORONTO – Despite not having played a game in several days, Toronto FC forward Sebastian Giovinco’s body has not allowed him to stop scoring goals, netting thirty-two in total across venues…
Toronto Argonauts unveil new mascot “Empty Seat”
TORONTO – As part of a multi-million dollar rebrand of North America’s oldest professional football franchise, the Toronto Argonauts have replaced its previous mascot, “Jason the Masc…
