TORONTO – As the Maple Leafs take to the ice to begin their season, MLSE PR have announced a number of pre-game festivities, including the usual apology for the catastrophic failure that wa…
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Doug Ford announces all policies will now be based on 2008 Jim Carrey film ‘Yes Man’
TORONTO – After declaring himself the Premier who says Yes, Doug Ford has revealed that he made the decision after re-watching the moderate Jim Carrey hit ‘Yes Man.’ “Folk…
Anti-vax family thankful they’ll have more leftovers this year
VANCOUVER – This Thanksgiving anti-vaxx family, the Millers, announced that they’ll be giving thanks for all the extra leftovers after several family members passed away from Covid-19 this …
Ford exempts MPP from vaccine citing medical condition that causes her to lie about vaccination status
TORONTO – Ontario Premier Doug Ford is defending one of his MPPs for misrepresenting her vaccination status saying that she now has a medical condition that causes her to lie about her vacc…
Devastated Toronto Blue Jays fans in perfect place mentally for Leafs season to start
TORONTO – After the Blue Jays were eliminated from the playoffs in dramatic fashion, experts agree that Toronto fans are now in the absolute ideal mental state to get ready for a new season…
Man raised by wolves unable to explain his tech job to parents
TORONTO – Randolph Farkas was left utterly flummoxed after trying every conceivable way to explain what he does as a profession to his parents Luca and Fang, two adult gray wolves. Farkas,…
Opinion: I am so much better than everyone in this Taco Bell
By: Bryler Chadwick Why is it that every time I eat at Taco Bell, I’m surrounded by people who eat at Taco Bell?! Like, what kind of people eat this crap? I’m a normal, respectable guy who works …
Business refusing to enforce vaccine passport has been violating labour laws for years in preparation for this moment
TORONTO – Saying the moment he has been waiting for was finally here, David McGrath, owner of Tito’s Bar and Grill, proudly announced that those who were not vaccinated were just as welcome…
