OTTAWA – A recently obtained copy of the former Justice Minister’s iTunes workout playlist consists entirely of secretly recorded conversations with her cabinet and caucus colleagues.…
Tag: Featured Post
New breed of action hero coolly walks toward explosion
HOLLYWOOD – Tired of the same old action movie trope of the badass protagonist calmly strolling away from an explosion he just caused, film producers are pushing for their heroes to break t…
Old man in locker room waits until last possible second to put dick away
BRANDON, MB – Sources are reporting that local senior citizen Morris Nesbit set a record recently in the changing facilities of the Brandon Super Fitness Centre by accomplishing every singl…
Leafs tickets 33% off since team only plays two periods
TORONTO – The Toronto Maple Leafs are offering discounted tickets that are two-thirds of the price as the team only seems to play for 40 minutes. The team’s box office has given fans a brea…
Trudeau distracts from SNC-Lavalin scandal with impromptu ‘Comedy Roast of Indigenous Protesters’
TORONTO — While getting heckled during a Liberal Party fundraiser, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau elected to turn the event into a spontaneous “Comedy Roast of Indigenous Protesters” i…
Anti-citrus parents believe “a touch of scurvy” leads to better outcomes in child pirates
SPANISH MAIN – Believing that a bout of scurvy during childhood can lead to a young swashbuckler who is stout of heart and strong of arm, some parents are aggressively touting the benefits …
Report: Bank cheques cost how fucking much?
TORONTO – In a survey of the nation’s major banks, a new report published today states that ordering cheques from your bank can cost anywhere from “Wait, how fucking much?” to “Jesus, you g…
Feds replace access to information system with cabinet gossip leak system
OTTAWA – Heralding in a new era of government transparency, the Liberal government has announced that it will be replacing its old system of providing internal data about services with a mo…
Tim Hortons worker playing Roll Up The Rim wins paid break
Cobourg, ON — It’s a lucky day for Tim Hortons employee Shirley Bishop, who won big at Roll Up the Rim: one paid break! “I was on my regular, unpaid coffee break when it happened,” said Bishop, w…
UCP considers dropping requirement that all its candidates have experience spreading hate on social media
EDMONTON – A second UCP candidate has pulled out of the provincial election due to hateful social media posts and the UCP is starting to wonder if their insistence that candidates have a hi…
