Toronto East Detention Centre – Inmate Miles Brown, who has been incarcerated for several years for selling marijuana before that was the government’s job, said he was happy for Marco Muzzo…
Tag: Featured Post
PEI Premier declares self Invincible God-King of the Maritimes just to get in the news
Dennistown, PEI – “Behold, I am the mighty son of Poseidon!” Premier Dennis King announced today. “And I shall rule the Maritimes for a thousand glorious years!” Staffers have informed the press …
Local waiter can’t wait to be killed by his favourite NHL Player
TORONTO – With the NHL’s all-Canadian North Division being given permission to dine indoors in certain Ontario restaurants, local Mack Blastor’s server Tom Kramer says he is thrilled …
Ford: Thousands more COVID Cases worth it for chance to partially re-open economy for a couple months before shutting down again
TORONTO – One day after announcing plans to partially re-open the province despite the fact new cases remain over 1000 a day, Premier Doug Ford says the risk is worth it for the chance to h…
Overrated Super Bowl quarterbacks haven’t even won a single Grey Cup
TAMPA BAY, FL – This year’s so-called “Super” Bowl will feature Tom Brady and Patrick Mahomes, two quarterbacks who are somehow considered elite talents despite having never once competed for the…
Ford vows to stop COVID by 7th wave
TORONTO – Last week, Ontario premier Doug Ford announced that his administration is committed to bringing the COVID-19 situation under control by no later than the 7th major spike in cases.…
Local libertarian unsure of what this has to do with the age of consent
HAMILTON, ONTARIO – Local libertarian Charles Whorley reportedly interjected into a public conversation about vegetables and produce today, confused as to what the subject matter had to do …
Nation shocked after Biden able to undo all four hours of work Trump did as President
Washington, D.C. – Americans are flabbergasted after President Biden within only two weeks was able to undo all four hours of work Trump completed while in office. “I thought it would take …
OPINION: I didn’t even want to go outside until the government told me not to
By: Pierre Gagnon, Montreal resident As a wave of new lockdowns and curfews hit Canadians once more, I find myself resigned to living, working, and existing solely in my apartment. In the past, I…
Trudeau frustrated that now he has to govern rather than just look good in comparison
OTTAWA – Aides report that, in the light of Joe Biden becoming president of the United States, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is growing frustrated that he is now expected to actually govern…
