EARTH – After long eras of systemic racial discrimination by humanity, God has clarified he will keep inventing new, terrible kinds of spider until we stop. “Okay guys,” said God after Dona…
Tag: Donald Trump
Fox News limits hosts to 5 sexual harassment scandal maximum
NEW YORK – Following their decision to fire popular pundit Bill O’Reilly, Fox News has announced they are setting a “hard limit” of 5 sexual harassments for all remaining on-air talent. Aft…
Coachella fans really bummed this new Trump hologram is looming over the entire festival
INDIO, CALIFORNIA – As millennials flock to this year’s Coachella festival, music fans were stunned to discover a giant hologram of President Trump. “I mean, they had a hologram with …
Unhinged authoritarian son of privilege plans missile launch against same
WASHINGTON/ PYONGYANG — Reports indicate that an egomaniacal dynastic head of state with a tenuous grip on reality is planning to launch missiles at essentially the exact same person from a…
EDITORIAL by Eric Trump: “Why did Russia compromise everyone but me?”
Hello website. As you may know, I am Eric Trump and I appear regularly in photographs with the Trump family, because I am in it. I have a father AND a brother named Donald Trump and one of them –…
Political cartoonist under mistaken impression that political cartoonists have never been more important
OTTAWA – Robert Belmont, a cartoonist who contributes editorial cartoons to several major newspapers, incorrectly believes that political cartoonists have never been more important than the…
Disney’s animatronic Trump tragically seems to understand what it is
ORLANDO, FL – Walt Disney World’s “Hall of Presidents” exhibit has temporarily closed for the addition of its 45th animatronic president, which will join mechanical representations of state…
Trump unsure if today’s backlash is because of something he said, did, started doing, threatened to do, or is thinking of doing
DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA – After yet another day of protests and media rebukes, Donald Trump is privately wondering if this backlash is due to a planned policy, enacted policy, an offensive twe…
Breaking: Trump missing after chasing errant balloon through streets of D.C.
WASHINGTON D.C. – Authorities have issued an amber alert for the lost and presumed missing Donald Trump, last seen chasing a loose balloon through the streets of the U.S. capitol. “We had just ex…
Embarrassed Pence carries crying Trump out of cabinet meeting
WASHINGTON D.C. – A frustrated Mike Pence has been spotted carrying a screaming and wailing Donald Trump out of the White House cabinet meeting room. “I swear he doesn’t normally act like t…
