Windsor, ON – Local man Ryan Garner was pronounced dead this morning after being stabbed and hit by 3 cars in a row, the last of which knocked him off a 40 foot high bridge, making him just…
Tag: COVID
DUMB WEEK: ABBA reunion delayed due to highly infectious Mamma Mia! variant
SWEDEN – The long-awaited reunion of Swedish supergroup ABBA has been delayed due to the latest iteration of the novel coronavirus, the highly infectious Mamma Mia! variant. ABBA reunited in 2022…
Health Canada draws attention to overlooked bivalent COVID vaccine by taking off its glasses and giving it bangs
OTTAWA – Officials at Health Canada have come up with a new strategy to drum up attention for the new bivalent COVID vaccine – by taking off its glasses and some chic bangs. “I know t…
Danielle Smith mandates that Alberta students must have at least 2 infectious diseases at all times
EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Danielle Smith has carried on her government’s fight against the fight against COVID by mandating that all Alberta students come to school with at least 2 i…
‘See No Covid, Hear No Covid’ strategy working about as well as expected
OTTAWA – As cases skyrocket around the country and hospitals are overwhelmed, the federal and provincial health approach of ‘see no covid, hear no covid’ has been called into qu…
Study: 1 in every 25 people in PEI have Covid-19, and they are: Jim, Paula, Big Jim, and Tina’s boy Ricky
SUMMERSIDE – A Covid-19 wave has washed over Prince Edward Island, leaving one in twenty-five Islanders–or four individual people–currently Covid-positive. “For a long time, we were doing pretty …
Danielle Smith graciously admits that genocide might be as bad as antivaxxers not getting to go to the movies
EDMONTON – Danielle Smith made international headlines during her first day as premier of Alberta by claiming that the unvaccinated are the most discriminated-against group she’d ever seen,…
Alberta Tories excuse Danielle Smith’s ignorance of history by reminding us she is a product of the education system they built
EDMONTON – After Alberta’s Premier-designate, Danielle Smith, called unvaccinated people “the most discriminated group that I’ve ever witnessed,” members of her United Con…
Liberals drop COVID restrictions now that ‘keeping people alive’ no longer polls well
OTTAWA – The government has announced that, as of October 1st, the border vaccine rules, travel mask mandates and mandatory use of the ArriveCan app will no longer be in force, now that kee…
Weird! Everyone you know currently sick with the disease from that Pandemic that ended a while ago
Well this is odd! It seems that nearly every friend and family member in your life is currently testing positive for COVID-19, the disease from the 2020-2021 Pandemic. “I mean obviously bas…