WASHINGTON D.C. – Months after Canada opened our border to Americans, President Joe Biden is finally allowing Canadians to enter the U.S. by land, as long as they can show proof they have r…
Tag: COVID
Jason Kenney assures Albertans he still having “Best Fall Ever”
EDMONTON – As Alberta reels from a 4th of COVID wave brought on by relaxed restrictions during the province’s promised “Best Summer Ever”, premier Jason Kenney assured frightened citizens t…
Oh Shit! The same people in charge of our COVID response are in charge of our Climate Change response
MONTRÉAL – People across Canada are slowly realizing that the people responsible for the handling of the COVID-19 pandemic are also the same people responsible for handling our response to …
Doug Ford says he’s saving all the federal COVID money to buy Ontario a pizza party when pandemic ends
TORONTO – As the billions of relief dollars sent to Ontario by the federal government continue to sit unused, Doug Ford is promising all citizens that, when the time is right, he will spend…
Alberta demands ‘have-not’ provinces carry their share of its ICU patients
EDMONTON – As Alberta’s COVID hospitalisations hit a record high, Premier Jason Kenney has decried other provinces for not shouldering their fair share of the ICU load. “This is a ‘have’ provinc…
FDA tells American horses to stop taking COVID vaccinations for worm infestations
Silver Spring, MD – The United States Food and Drug Administration has asked American horses to stop taking COVID vaccines to treat their worm infestations. “There is no evidence that COVID…
“Why won’t someone do something about these terrible hospital protests,” says Doug Ford
TORONTO – As Anti-Vaxxers conduct aggressive, threatening protests outside hospitals across Ontario, many Ontarians are expressing outrage and wondering why government officials don’t…
Scotiabank purchases naming rights on all future Canadian variants of coronavirus
TORONTO – In light of news that the World Health Organization would be renaming key variants of COVID-19, Scotiabank has announced plans to bid on the naming rights of all future coronaviru…
Biden just going to let Covid have Florida
JACKSONVILLE, FL – After months of Florida Governor Ron DeSantis’s ineffective pandemic response, President Biden today announced he is removing his hat in sorrow as he allows Covid-19 to h…
Conservatives take quick break on “stop living in fear” platform for “COVID is very scary we shouldn’t have an election” platform
OTTAWA – Canadian right-wingers have announced a brief break from the usual “we cannot live in fear” rhetoric for their new slogan “COVID is very scary and so an election is super dangerous…