LAVAL – A Quebec construction tycoon who was accused of using parts intended for Montreal’s public transit network to build her house announced that she must be innocent because her home is stil...
Big 5 banks worried Canadians not saving enough for retirement of bank CEOs
TORONTO – The Big 5 Canadian banks are sending a warning to Canadians; save up or else their executives may not retire in excessive opulence. Last year, TD, RBC, CIBC, BMO and Scotiabank collect...
NSA XBox Live surveillance reveals Jihad97 as a noob
FORT MEADE, MD – Leaked documents from the National Security Agency have exposed 11 year old Daniel Parklin, better known by the username Jihad97, as an absolute noob. Jihad97’s lack of basic ga...
Local uncle insists he does not murder people at truck stops
PETERBOROUGH, ON – When asked at a family dinner what he had done the previous weekend, local uncle William Tudor Falkes vehemently denied that he was in the habit of taking human lives at truck...
That pusillanimous charlatan David Johnston has perniciously mulct the Order of Canada from me
BY CONRAD BLACK In what can only be called a banal display of demagoguery, the Governor General, along with that Star Council of pabulum known as the advisory council, has hoisted me from the Order of...
Liberals hike minimum wage to keep up with current levels of poverty
TORONTO – Ontario premier Kathleen Wynne announced Thursday that the government would be moving immediately to raise the province’s minimum wage to $11.00 an hour, in an effort to properly adjus...
UPDATE: Puppy Bowl losers to be euthanized
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