The Beaverton

Report: oh fuck, the patio furniture!

ETOBICOKE, ON – Yesterday, scientists reported that oh my God, the patio furniture has just been sitting out there all winter, and dammit, it’s probably at least half ruined. Reached for co…

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Police dog suspended after profiling several cats

TORONTO – A member of Toronto’s Police Dog services unit has been given a two week suspension with kibbles after being accused of species-profiling several neighbourhood cats. When Internal…

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