TORONTO – Despite being certain that he had finally found the missing subway token in his jacket pocket, local man Ryan Malan discovered it was, yet again, nothing but a dime.
“I looked in that pocket and got excited because I had found the token, but it turned out to be a dime. But then I checked my other pockets before returning to that pocket and when I felt the dime, I got just as excited as I had a moment ago,” said Malan.
Malan advised he took several steps to confirm it was just a dime, including rubbing his finger along the top to see if it had the rough feel of a token or the smooth surface of a ten cent piece, taking it out and staring at it for at least 20 seconds, and making several wishes for it to turn into a token.
“This is ridiculous,” said Malan as he frantically rummaged through his pockets, “Why don’t they change the tokens so they’re not so similar. I’m going to be late for… Oh hey I found it! Thank god I was worried I was going to have to buy more… Son of a bitch, it’s that dime again!”
Before giving in and putting three dollars in the till, Miller debated trying to sneak in by paying with the dime, but gave up after vastly overestimating how much of a shit the semi-comatose TTC operator manning the booth would give.
At press time your student ID was not your Metropass.
