Harper pledges all Conservative candidates will be potty trained by time they take office
OTTAWA — Following the resignation of a Toronto candidate this weekend, the Conservative Party of Canada has pledged all future candidates will be ethical, upstanding citizens who know how to use…
Chris Alexander goes back in time to deny ancestors entry into Canada
NEWARK, UPPER CANADA — Citing his strong personal conviction that refugees must complete proper screening before entering Canada, Citizenship and Immigration Minister Chris Alexander has tr…
Harper renames Mount Logan to Mount Denial
WHITEHORSE – Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper has officially changed the name of Mount Logan to Mount Denial when he visited the Yukon capital city earlier this week. The announcement comes…
Actual news story about Conservative MP Ryan Leef campaign signs baffle satirists
WHITEHORSE — An actual news story about Yukon Conservative MP Ryan Leef catching and arresting a woman vandalizing his election sign in a sting operation has bewildered many in the satirica…
Chris Alexander asks Syrian refugees to wait six more weeks until Conservatives re-elected
AJAX — Citizenship and Immigration Minister Chris Alexander has told refugees escaping war-torn Syria and Iraq to hang tight until the Conservatives are given another majority government by…
Chris Alexander: “If I could do it over again, I would have denied a different child’s refugee claim”
AJAX – Following the revelation that the deceased Syrian child depicted in a now-famous photograph was denied a Canadian refugee claim, Federal Immigration Minister Chris Alexander has assu…
Tom Mulcair shows off ‘Game of Thrones’ tattoos at Fan Expo
TORONTO – New Democratic Party leader, Thomas Mulcair, visited Fan Expo today in Toronto, ingratiating himself to thousands of science fiction, fantasy, horror, anime, video game and comic …
Justin Trudeau removed by mall security for walking up wrong escalator
OTTAWA — Liberal Leader Justin Trudeau is in hot water after he was removed by mall security after walking up the wrong escalator. Trudeau along with several loitering male teenagers were a…
Bloc Québécois demands sovereignty for the 10% of Quebec that still supports them
QUEBEC CITY – On a campaign stop to the provincial capital, Bloc Québécois leader Gilles Duceppe demanded a near complete fracture in relationship between Canada and the small portion of Qu…
400,000 Blue Jays fans injured after bandwagon crashes outside stadium
TORONTO – Tragedy struck in the Rogers Center parking lot today when a head-on collision occurred between a sedan and a 400,000 seat bandwagon following yet another lopsided Blue Jays victo…
