Finally, a holiday that excludes orphans - The Beaverton

Finally, a holiday that excludes orphans

Editorial by: Karen McCrindle

Only once a year can families across many of Canada’s provinces celebrate a day they can call their own without having accommodate for those countless, illegitimate ragamuffins. It’s called and is only for people who have families.

As someone who pays taxes for such luxuries as bunk beds, rags for clothes, and attic space to live, these costly wards of the state owe me, but I’m sure I’ll never be paid back. And to think, they can celebrate almost every religious and secular holiday while their existence is entirely subsidized by the state. Orphans get everything for free at every family’s expense from shelter, beds to passive child-care and gruel. My family doesn’t get free gruel, so why should they? Every day seems to be Orphan Day!

For too long, our cherished holidays have been overshadowed by whiny, needy orphans. Christmas, for example, has been hijacked by no-good waifs who always gets presents from Santa Claus before families. They always come first before any double income, single-child families who live in the suburbs. That’s not fair at all! Families needed to reclaim their rightful place in the social order.

But governments finally got the message and gave families a token, yet important holiday for my upper middle-class family of four. Sorry, but this is for legitimate parents or guardians and their children only.

The War on Family Day continues to be waged by the politically correct, but I’m proud to say Merry Family Day to everyone.

In the spirit of today, I hope these strays finally recognize the importance of families in their lives as they head to work in coal mines, chimneys or sweatshops.