Fiorina endorses Cruz in blatant act of sabotage
MIAMI – Speaking at a campaign rally in Florida this week, former GOP presidential candidate Carly Fiorina endorsed Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Tex) for the party’s nomination, in what experts are calling “…
Investigation finds that many people on Canada’s No Fly List are perfectly fly
OTTAWA – As controversy continues to mount over innocent Canadians being placed on the No Fly List, a long-running investigation claims that many people on the list are acceptably cool, tight and…
New $20 bill to feature plus-size model
OTTAWA — The Bank of Canada has revealed that the new $20 bill will display the image of a plus-size female model, marking the first time that a full-figured woman has appeared on Canadian …
Men celebrate International Women’s Day with #AllDaysMatter campaign
TORONTO – MRAs, Gamergate trolls and white men everywhere took to the internet this morning in an orchestrated attempt to “helpfully respond to” International Women’s Day by pointing out th…
Canada admits they knew Trudeau was a total Samantha all along
OTTAWA — Canadians across the country revealed Monday that, following a segment of CBS’ “60 Minutes” that identified actress Kim Cattrall, famous for her role as Samantha Jones in the hit T…
Controversy: PM snubs Vancouver Island Marmots in favour of panda cubs
TORONTO — Members of the media and the opposition criticized Prime Minister Justin Trudeau on Monday for snubbing a pair of endangered Vancouver Island marmots in favour of a photo opportun…
Proposed NWT ice road replacement made entirely of sunken tanker trucks
YELLOWKNIFE — The government of Northwest Territories have already laid the initial groundwork for replacing its ice roads with a long stretch of submerged tanker trucks. “This route needs …
Racist grandma bakes better cookies than non-racist grandma
SARNIA, ON – A study of all 4 Clarkson grandchildren has confirmed that the cookies baked by their sweet, kind grandmother Dorothy don’t even compare to those made by their mean, xeno…
Saskatchewan voyeur jerks off to wheat again
ALAMEDA, SK – Local voyeur Thomas Ristic has once again been forced to masturbate to completion while staring at the 50 acres of wheat that neighbour his property. “This was never my first …
