Nation’s cats celebrate being able to shit in people’s gardens again
CANADA – With the larger part of Canada now experiencing prolonged periods of warmth, cats nationwide are once again reveling in their ability to defecate in the newly-planted gardens of Ca…
Wal-Mart parking lot in Whitehorse newest campground in Yukon
WHITEHORSE – Extolling the breathtaking beauty of Whitehorse’s urban wilderness, Yukon Parks has unveiled its newest campground located in the Walmart parking lot between Quartz Road and Ch…
Dave’s colonoscopy video wins top prize at Cannes
CANNES – After eleven days of electrifying and challenging cinema at the Cannes Film Festival, the prestigious Palme d’Or was awarded to MULLINS PROC. CRX34-8, a thorough portrayal of 60-year-old…
INFOGRAPHIC: How good their dog is VS. How much money they have
Here’s an infographic that explains the relationship between how much money a person has versus how good their dog is.…
Queen Victoria celebrates birthday by getting wasted at cottage
POINTE-AU-BARIL, ON – In honour of her 197th birthday, Queen Victoria of England is celebrating the long weekend the way many of her Canadian colonists are, by getting completely shit-faced…
Trudeau’s attempt to start Parliamentary Fight Club backfires
OTTAWA – Justin Trudeau admitted this morning that yesterday’s effort to finally get the House of Commons Fight Club started was a poor choice on his part. “I just thought that at the end o…
Patio season convinces Ottawa woman she doesn’t live in desolate arctic hellscape 90% of year
OTTAWA – As local residents welcome patio season, Sana Khan, a thirty-two year old public servant, appears to be struck with a severe case of amnesia, tragically unable to recall that she …
Entire NDP caucus arrive in neck braces, wheelchairs to House of Commons after Trudeau’s assault
OTTAWA – All 44 members of the NDP caucus arrived in Parliament this morning wearing neck braces, arm slings, head bandages, and seated in wheelchairs after yesterday’s physical altercation…
Bison named US national mammal, narrowly beating out Texas-style BBQ bison
CHARLOTTE, NC – The bison, with its majestic dignity and great historical significance, was chosen as America’s national mammal last Friday, beating out a close runner-up and popular favour…
Local neighbour begins extremely loud, unskilled renovations
Fort Nelson, BC – Next-door neighbour Dale Glover’s disruptive springtime renovation season is already off to a roaring start. “I can finally get back to work on that structurally unsound b…
