Local imam pretty sure entire congregation CSIS agents

TORONTO – After noticing a spike in attendance, local imam Karim Al-Tamimi believes that almost all of the people who regularly attend his masjid are agents of the Canadian Security Intelli…

First Nations family waiting for adequate housing hoping to become PMO staffers

ATTAWAPISKAT, ON – After a years-long housing crisis that has left the Attawapiskat First Nation with only 340 homes for its 2,100 residents and government inaction on both the provincial and fed…

Senator tells ethics commissioner she was unaware that she was a Senator for 7 years

OTTAWA – Conservative Senator Nicole Eaton claimed Thursday that she was unaware of her appointment to the Senate some seven years ago, in addition to claiming that she was did not know she…

Massive data breach confirms your aunt is Yahoo’s only user

Sunnyvale, CA – Yahoo confirmed on Thursday that it had been subject to a major cyberattack that had compromised its usernames, hashed passwords, and security questions, all of which belong…

Millions in property damage caused as pumpkins plummet from the sky for first day of Fall

TORONTO – Reports of smashed windows, wrecked vehicles, and other wide scale property damage are coming in from around the nation today as thousands of pumpkins continue to fall from the sk…

Donald Trump loses rec center in breakdance competition with neighborhood teens

QUEENS, NEW YORK – The Donald Trump presidential campaign suffered a setback this week after the nominee lost the deed to a recreation center in a climactic pop-and-lock showdown with local…

Faxed bomb threat from 1997 finally arrives at destination

CHARLOTTETOWN – Prince Edward Island RCMP have determined that a bomb threat sent to more than 60 Canadian schools Wednesday morning is not credible and was actually faxed almost two decade…

Angelina Jolie splits from Brad Pitt to spend more time collecting children

LOS ANGELES – In an announcement which has stunned the public, Hollywood power couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have split up, citing Jolie’s wish to spend more time expanding her child …

Man mansplains manspreading

TORONTO – A conversation between two female co-workers about the male habit of sitting in public transport with their legs wide apart was interrupted by Jarred Myers, an accountant who work…

Trudeau finishes UN address with fun team-building exercise

NEW YORK – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau made his address to the UN General Assembly yesterday and ended it with the popular team building game ‘Two Truths and a Lie’. After reminding the U…