NEW YORK – Following a CIA report that alleges Russian tampered with the 2016 American election, President-elect Donald Trump plans to wait for the KGB’s assessment before accusing Russia of getting him elected.
“I don’t know how we’re supposed to pass judgement when we’ve only heard from one side. Let’s wait until Russian intelligence has looked over all the evidence and given us their opinion,” said Trump surrogate, Corey Lewandowski. “I’m sure we’ll hear from them soon. Don’t worry, they have our number.”
Trump took to Twitter to explain his plans, stating that “[former KGB head] Putin was a really, tremendously smart guy” who had a “fantastic secret police” and that “nobody on the Trump team has ever been formerly charged with being a deep cover KGB sleeper cell, like on The Americans”.
“When you think about it, Putin is the perfect person to investigate these claims,” said Trump communications adviser, Jason Miller. “He doesn’t live in the US and he’s already really powerful. He’s completely unbiased!”
At press time, the CIA had released another report showing that the American electoral system had also interfered in the American election.