Hero dog wins award for bravery, despite not even knowing that he exists
OTTAWA – Pixie, a four-year-old army dog, has been awarded the Dickin Medal for bravely serving in military conflict, despite the fact that, as a dog, he has no concept of sacrifice, duty, or sel…
Winter boyfriends released back into the wild
DAWSON, YT — With the arrival of spring in Canada’s North, males nesting with females are cast off into the unknown dating environment in a seasonal phenomenon known as the “Spr…
CRA registers itself as Offshore Revenue Agency to avoid enforcing tax laws
GEORGE TOWN, CAYMAN ISLANDS — The Canada Revenue Agency re-registered its agency’s location offshore to the Cayman Islands last month in a move high-level civil servants are hoping will sav…
Spain’s Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy lobbies to end siesta – in another five minutes
MADRID — Groggy Spanish Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy plans to prepare a campaign that will end the tradition of the afternoon nap, just as soon as he wakes up from one. The sleepy Prime Min…
Kevin O’Leary starts rumour that Kevin O’Leary named in Panama Papers
TORONTO – Following the explosive “Panama Papers” leak, detailing the offshore accounts of high profile billionaires worldwide, Dragon’s Den star Kevin O’Leary has been caught starting a ru…
Can everyone who isn’t like me wear a label of some kind so I know how to deal with you?
BY: BARRY T. MACINTYRE I think I speak for everyone when I say, I’m pretty damn confused these days. What with the cultural appropriations, sexual orientalizations, racism, reverse-racism, assess…
Thomas Mulcair reactivates Linkedin account
EDMONTON — Outgoing NDP Leader Thomas Mulcair has reactivated his LinkedIn account moments after being rejected by his party, which called for a leadership race to replace him. Since 2012, …
Black hole as big as 17 billion suns surprises astronomers who clearly weren’t looking very hard
CAPE CANAVERAL — After decades of so-called scrutinizing the cosmos, scientists have finally managed to notice a supermassive black hole staring them right in the face. “This one’s on us,” …
After waking from twelve year coma, local man excited to ask nurse “wassssup!?”
KINGSTON – After more than a decade in a vegetative state, 27-year-old Kingston man Alex Hinds opened his eyes last week much to the surprise of healthcare providers. When asked what he planned t…
NDP convention delegates explore virtual reality where the NDP won the 2015 election
EDMONTON — Although the party lost 51 seats and earned less than 20 percent of the popular vote in the recent federal election, the NDP faithful can create their own alternate reality where…
