“Protest doesn’t solve anything,” says man who has never solved anything
LONDON, ON – In a revolutionary move, local man George Hunter has posted online about his disdain for civil action as a solution despite the fact that he has never even changed a lightbulb withou…
Costa Rican Ambassador Brian Pallister makes racist remark against indigenous people
WINNIPEG – The Costa Rican Ambassador to Manitoba Brian Pallister was caught making offensive remarks towards indigenous people in Manitoba over nighttime hunting last week. The Ambassador,…
Couple with kids has sex outside of date night
WINNIPEG – Friends of Kari and Robert Hern have confirmed the occurrence of unplanned marital sex between the couple last Tuesday. Sources within Kari’s book club and Rob’s poker circle say that …
Canadian Try American Snacks Then We Turn Them Against Each Other
The results will shock you. #BeavFeed…
Wynne kills Gardiner, DVP roads tolls in appeal to popular “Fuck Toronto” constituency
TORONTO – Premier Kathleen Wynne has pulled her support for Toronto City Council’s plan to implement road tolls on the Gardiner Expressway and Don Valley Expressway, choosing instead to ali…
Man with devil sticks and toe-shoes undermines gravitas of local rally
Comox, British Columbia – Organizers of a local rally to protect farmland in Parksville from developers were dismayed this weekend to find their event undermined by the presence of a man wi…
Rumours resurface of Louis C.K. cornering women, forcing them to watch ‘Horace & Pete’
TORONTO — In the wake of Louis C.K.’s record-breaking stand-up comedy tour, which included a recent performance at the ACC, ugly rumours have resurfaced involving the beloved comedian exploiting …
You have a chance to punch a Nazi. Do you take it?
You are just a normal, everyday person. But you have an opportunity to be something greater, something a little more Indiana Jonesy. Will you seize the moment and become the hero you know you can…
How To: Join The Radiant Order of King Dragon
A must watch for anyone who wants to get ahead!…
McDonald’s unveils all-day breakfast in Canada to stress-test healthcare system
TORONTO – McDonald’s Canada announced today that it will begin serving all-day breakfast in order to stress-test the country’s socialized healthcare system. The menu will feature a selectio…
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