James Woods decries liberals as “children”, immediately invites them on Vegas weekend
HOLLYWOOD, CA – After being subject to allegations of unsavoury conduct towards minors this week, actor and outspoken republican James Woods angrily took to twitter, dismissing his liberal …
Cassini spacecraft responds to self-destruct order with cryptic laugh
PASADENA – Experts at the NASA Jet Propulsion Laboratory are stumped, and more than a little disturbed, by the cryptic laugh they received from the Cassini spacecraft in response to the sel…
How To Go Vegan…Next Week
You’re definitely going to do it this time. Definitely.…
BC premier condemns violence on both sides of wildfires
Victoria, BC—British Columbia premier John Horgan held a news conference to sharply criticize both the wildfires raging across the province and the people fighting them. “We can all agree that fi…
Trump explains that the real wall was the friends we made along the way
WASHINGTON, DC – Less than a day after taking to twitter to re-characterize his promised border wall as “new renovation of old and existing fences,” President Donald Trump has once again do…
Niki Ashton desperately trying to get someone to protest her next speech
OTTAWA – Trailing in the polls, NDP leadership candidate Niki Ashton is really hoping someone will aggressively heckle her next speech so she can get some Internet love as well. “Obvi…
Tortured artist actually lives very nice life
MONTREAL, QC- After waking up in the afternoon for the eighth day in a row and taking out a hand rolled cigarette from the back pocket of his $380 jeans while looking out over his downtown loft b…
Toronto woman finally saves enough to move out of parent’s house for one month
TORONTO – After working multiple jobs for several years and saving diligently, local woman Theresa Graham finally has enough money to move into her own apartment for one month before moving…
Quiz: Are you in Antifa or a Ska Band?
Antifa, a term used to describe a militant organization dedicated to combatting fascism. Ska bands, a term used describe organizations dedicated to playing sweet jams you can skank to. It is almo…
Lynn Beyak asks Indigenous Canadians to join rest of Canada in ignoring Indigenous issues
OTTAWA – After spending several months carefully examining and refining her position, Senator Lynn Beyak has released a statement encouraging Indigenous Canadians to put aside their grudges…
