LAVAL, QC – A recent study shows that the original Olympic athletes of ancient Greece, long thought to not practice any winter sports at all, did in fact compete at curling, and did so completel...
Clint Eastwood’s latest film just 2 hours of an American flag blowing in the wind
LOS ANGELES – Critics are raving after an early screening of Clint Eastwood’s latest film “Flag”, 120 minutes of the stars and stripes bravely and proudly blowing in the wind. “It was a masterpi...
White friend slightly too excited about Black Panther
TORONTO – Local white friend Connor Allen is reportedly just a little too hyped for Marvel’s latest blockbuster, the studio’s first to feature a person of colour in the starring role. “I haven’t felt ...
Breaking: TTC Presto gate worked one time
TORONTO – Sources report that on Saturday morning a Presto gate at the TTC’s Ossington station worked one time, allowing a single passenger to pay their fare and enter the subway system. “I couldn’t b...
Vancouver city council votes to blind the poor to keep them from enjoying million dollar mountain views
VANCOUVER – During a contentious meeting Vancouver city council decided by a vote of 7 to 3 to adopt a new revitalization plan that includes blinding poor residents to keep them from seeing the ...
6 quaint dinners to watch your neighbours have from your lonely, dark apartment
As the sun relentlessly sets each winter night, turn off the lights and take a moment to peer out the window of your silent apartment at your neighbours sharing a delicious home-cooked meal in each ot...
Innovative! This woman cuts out the friends and goes straight for the wine this Galentine’s Day
Moments before her planned Galentine’s Day celebrations, Yara Henoud boldly decided to forgo her annual 18 hour brunch-to-sleepover party in favour of day drinking by herself. “Making plans in our gro...
Quiz: Are you the right kind of snob?
So you think you’re better than everyone? You may be, but just being a snob isn’t going to cut it. Take this quiz to find out whether you’re the right kind of snob so you can assert your superiority m...
Criminal justice system charged with accessory to murder in Colten Boushie case
North Battleford, SK – After an all-white jury returned a verdict of “not guilty”, despite expert and eyewitness testimony, the Canadian criminal justice system has been formally charged with ac...
Canada wins gold in slush puddle long jump
PYEONGCHANG – Canada has added another Olympic gold medal to its count after a Toronto woman leapt a record-setting 3.21m over a large slush puddle at the Gangneung Pedestrian Crossing Course ea...
