Moments before her planned Galentine’s Day celebrations, Yara Henoud boldly decided to forgo her annual 18 hour brunch-to-sleepover party in favour of day drinking by herself.
“Making plans in our group chat is just too hard nowadays,” the 29 year old lawyer confessed. “Between work and my subscription box meal service, I really only have the time to ttag my friends’ in memes to let them know I’m thinking of them.”
Instead of overwhelming herself with Galentine’s staples of mimosas and Bloody Mary’s, Henoud opted instead for a suspiciously inexpensive box of California red blend wine.
“I don’t have to settle for anything I don’t want today. Today is about loving myself and not having to compromise between what Morgan or Leah want to drink,” Henoud paused. “I can truly have it all. Women can finally have it all.”
Henoud’s group of seven friends were informed of the cancellation of the Galentine’s Day party a mere hour before the event was slated to occur via a text from Henoud that read, “Feeling super sick, sorry!!! Don’t think we can have Gal’s at mine 🙁 Maybe we can do something next week???”
“Honestly, I think we live in a time where people are really hostile towards women, so I need to support the lady loves in my life a much as possible, albeit never in person,” Henoud slurred into her eighth generous glass of wine. “But those bitches know I love them.”
Unconstrained by friends who would talk about yet another disappointing male in their life, Henoud worked her way through her box of wine with the steadfast determination of a woman who intended to pass out on her couch before 7 pm.
