RED DEER, AB – Well past midnight on Tuesday, Sara Ahmadi braced herself to begin her fourth hour of skincare. “I think I originally adopted this nighttime routine as a means of self-care, but a...
Opera house phantom resigns amid allegation of sexual misconduct
PARIS – Amid serious allegations including stalking and sexual harassment, the once beloved disfigured singer, known simply as The Phantom, has stepped down from his role as the mysterious man w...
Facebook intentionally leaks billions of embarrassing personal details to show you aren’t perfect either
Menlo Park, CA – Social media giant Facebook announced today that they’ve intentionally leaked billions of its users embarrassing personal failures in an attempt to show the world that, hey, may...
Hardcore Marvel fans showing up early to watch Infinity War’s secret 160 minute pre-credit sequence
LOS ANGELES – While Marvel is known for inserting mid- and post-credit scenes into its films to keep fans in their seats while the credits rolls, Avengers: Infinity War is turning this practice ...
Swarm of midges covers shift for absent patio server
KINGSTON – A throng of midges hovering over a bar’s patio were pressed into service last night serving thirsty customers after a waitress missed her shift. The Leviathan of small insects had bee...
“I love people watching” reports local creep
KANMORE — Noted creep Jake Gubis has expressed his excitement for the leering – or ‘people watching’ – opportunities that warmer weather will bring. ”It all started when I went to Ro...
OPINION – If this is what you get in a continental breakfast, I’d hate to see a regional breakfast
Let me get this straight: I take a break from sleazy fleabag motels to splurge at a joint with free continental breakfast. Then I wake up at the crack of dawn to partake, and you come at me with cold ...
York University adds year to every program for mandatory “strike internships”
TORONTO – York University students from all faculties will be required to take an additional year of study for the recently announced strike internship program. The program is unique to York, an...
Amazon posts ad seeking roommate to share lease of new Vancouver HQ
VANCOUVER – In an ad posted to craigslist this morning, online shopping giant Amazon announced that it is seeking a roommate to help cover the exorbitant lease of its new Vancouver headquarters....
Study: Children raised by LGBTQ parents less likely to be complete accidents
LONDON, ON: Researchers at Western University have published a new study that claims LGBTQ parents are less likely to have children by accident. The study surveyed one hundred parents and guardians of...
