KANMORE — Noted creep Jake Gubis has expressed his excitement for the leering – or ‘people watching’ – opportunities that warmer weather will bring.
”It all started when I went to Rome. My friend told me I should grab a coffee, sit at the Piazza Navona and people watch.” said Gubis. “Then I realized I could do this absolutely anywhere, all the time.”
Gubis has taken his love of people watching to many locations, including swimming pools, gyms, and the dark streets you have to walk down to get home.
“Maybe he’s some famous playwright, searching for inspiration for his next masterpiece.” speculated local resident Marissa Rowan, “but that wouldn’t explain why he only wears sweatpants.”
“Human behaviour is so interesting” reported Gubis. “The concerned looks, the uncomfortable pacing, the fake phone calls when someone thinks they’re about to be abducted. Just fascinating.”
Gubis has recently had to curb his people watching due to court order.