You’ve seen the bone-chilling report issued by the UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, and boy oh boy, them bones them bones them chilled bones! So what should you do? The internet seems to ...
TVO doesn’t want hallucinatory monster only visible to some to be associated with drugs
TORONTO – Following the appearance of a cannabis-themed parody mascot named Tokaroo at a recent legalization event, Ontario’s public broadcaster has sent a legal threat to the man behind the cos...
Toronto Maple Leafs promise strong start to hockey season will not affect ability to lose playoffs
TORONTO, ON – Despite winning 7 out of 10 games so far this hockey season, Toronto Maple Leafs Head Coach Sheldon Keefe reassured fans that the team’s impressive performance will not impact their abil...
That one guy you know from high school still defending Kanye West
MISSISSAUGA – A recent string of concerning posts on your Facebook feed has revealed that someone you went to highschool with still stans for Kanye West. Hunter Maldonado, the guy who would alwa...
Analysts not sure rebate cheques and keeping humanity alive will convince Canadians to support carbon tax
Luke and the Panel (Alex Huntley, Alice Moran, Diana McCallum) talk elections! The Canadian municipal elections went mostly as expected with Tory being re-elected (1:30), but also contained some highs...
Leading by example: MPPs vote to lower their wages to $14/h, cut sick days
TORONTO – MPPs at Queen’s Park unanimously passed a bill that would match the same pay and benefits as minimum wage workers would receive in the rest of the province. “It’s just not fair that we...
Albino Squirrel from Trinity Bellwoods elected to City Council
TORONTO: In the result of an upset victory, Torontonians woke Tuesday morning to a find surprising new member on City Council: one of the white squirrels from Trinity Bellwoods park. “This was my firs...
Moose waiting by side of highway to jump out and sue driver
CORNER BROOK, NL – Waiting to charge out at passing cars at any moment, authorities say the public should be on the lookout for a moose by the side of the highway whom they say is planning on in...
SUV that hit cyclist on way to polls elected councillor in Etobicoke North
TORONTO – In an surprise victory Etobicoke North incumbent Michael Ford has been defeated by an SUV that just hit a cyclist. “It’s been a tough race” stated Ford in his concession speech “but I ...
Update: Ottawa’s mayor Jim Watson unaware of results after blocking most of the city on Twitter
OTTAWA – Mayor-elect Jim Watson is oblivious to his victory after blocking most Twitter accounts that he has deemed as trolls. Watson, who handily won his third term, blocked every media source,...
