Jason Kenney vows to sue wildfires for defaming oil industry

EDMONTON – After wildfire smoke blanketed Edmonton yesterday and forced the cancellation of what should have been a triumphant celebration of the repeal of Alberta’s carbon tax, Premier Jas…

Trump refuses to visit Canada until government destroys McCain SuperFries

OTTAWA – The Canadian government was contacted by Trump aides today, demanding the removal of all McCain products from Canadian food suppliers in order keep the American president from thin…

Andrew Scheer still hoping someone about to throw him surprise belated birthday party

OTTAWA  – Andrew Scheer appeared distracted during a caucus meeting today, as sources say the Federal Conservative Leader was clearly expecting some kind of belated surprise party to celebr…

Democrats plan even more strongly-worded letter asking Trump to follow the rules please

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In the wake of Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s press conference leaving impeachment up to Congress, House Democrats have announced they will instead send President Trump…

Ecstatic bandwagon fan says he’s always been cheering for Kevin Lowry

COBOURG, ON- Bandwagon Raptors fan Caleb Fletcher insists he has been cheering for his favourite player Kevin Lowry this whole time. “I love his passion for the game,” said Fletcher w…

Modern-day Nazi hunter thought job would be harder

VANCOUVER – Modern day Nazi hunter Jim Smith has confirmed to reporters that he honestly thought his job would take a lot more effort in 2019. Smith, who joins a long tradition of committed activ…

Alberta government lowers minimum wage for minors as part of new ‘Tiny Hands, Tiny Rights’ initiative

EDMONTON – Fulfilling their campaign pledge to strip away the rights of children, on Monday the UCP controlled legislature of Alberta passed a bill lowering the minimum wage for workers und…

Houseplant wishes you’d let it die already

TORONTO – After six long months of suffering in an unforgiving climate with insufficient sunlight and warmth, Fernice the fern desperately wishes you could understand just how much it yearn…

Makers of Chess announce $20 Mecha Queen DLC

VANCOUVER – Chess is an ancient game which can be traced back to being nearly 1500 years old, with gameplay remaining largely unchanged over the past 500 years. That is exactly why the deve…

Canada replaces customary diplomatic gifts with customary shipping container full of household waste

OTTAWA – As per a new directive issued by Global Affairs, foreign dignitaries visiting Canada will be gifted with several shipping containers full of traditional Canadian household waste. T…