“I think I’m better off staying inside today,” said the Opposition Leader sheepishly looking through his window to see if anyone with suspicious-looking signs was outside his Regina home. “I’m worried about this radical youngster with her science. Who knows what she’ll do if she gets a hold of me?”
Scheer has doubled the number of RCMP Personal Protection members during his campaign after a terrifying interaction with a pair of high schoolers holding aggressive-looking protest signs reminding him that he should do more to protect the environment from climate change.
“After that, I knew the real threat to Canada’s survival was angry teenage girls,” said Scheer before drinking a shot of chocolate milk to calm his nerves.
With heightened security, reporters were required to give three pieces of ID and frisked for catchy climate change slogans before making any contact with the Conservative Leader.
“I also do not want any of my supporters thinking that I believe in climate change either,” he added quickly closing the blinds.