Trump counters Kasich, Powell endorsements by securing backing of prominent Democrats
WASHINGTON D.C. – Ahead of the Republican National Convention President Trump announced endorsements from Democrats Ghislaine Maxwell and Harvey Weinstein, intended to counter last week’s R…
Party that wants to manage government can’t manage counting a few thousand votes
OTTAWA – The Conservative Party of Canada, a party which would like to be in charge of the whole country, was unable to announce Erin O’Toole’s victory until well after 1am due …
Conservative Party announces this the best they could do
OTTAWA – In an announcement over Zoom from its headquarters, the Conservative Party of Canada revealed after a months-long campaign, that this, this, is the best the party has to offer. “Lo…
Paper shredder working hard to process as many ballots at Conservative Party Leadership vote
OTTAWA – The Conservative Party of Canada’s leadership election has started without a hitch dozens of paper shredders destroying as many ballots before they can be counted. “We …
Where are all these Covid parties and why am I not invited?
by Bridgette Moi The recent spike of Covid-19 cases in Vancouver has people worried, and believe me, I am too. People are gathering on boats, in clubs, and in houses, throwing parties and probabl…
Uranus tired of being a punchline, would like to explore its dramatic side
OUTER SOLAR SYSTEM – The seventh planet from the sun is done being treated as a joke and is demanding humanity start taking it and its dramatic aspirations seriously. “Neptune doesn’t have …
Lonely man sad to have no matches on contact tracing app
WINDSOR, ON – In the throes of late-stage quarantining Robert Greene, 55, advanced his long-lasting search for love and romance by downloading the widely spreading COVID-19 contact tracing …
Local woman unsure what to do with hands during conversation casually cups own breast
ST. JOHNS — Anita Debra, local barista, didn’t know what to do with her hands during a recent lull in a conversation, ultimately opting to cup her own breast. “I just didn’t know what to do…
