TORONTO – A Toronto police officer seen with a patch featuring the symbol of Marvel’s The Punisher on his uniform while at a traffic safety news conference was only wearing his internal thoughts on the outside, police sources say.
Angela Ling, spokesperson for the Toronto Police Service, said, “The Punisher is a vigilante who, following the murder of his wife and children, ignores civil rights and uses violence, torture, and lethal force – obviously this cop doesn’t require such a motivating backstory to develop the same mindset.”
“And we are fully committed to making sure this cop will never again alter his uniform to reveal the fact that he has this mindset.”
Interim Chief of Police James Ramer made the policy of the Toronto Police Service on this matter clear: “Frank Castle, aka The Punisher, only sees the world in black and white absolutes of morality, but our police training emphasizes a middle area of plausible deniability.”
“As for the motto on the badge ‘Make no mistake I am the sheepdog,’ it is by no means an obvious sign of the contempt the police harbour for civilian ‘sheep’ – rather it is an indication that we like belly rubs and scratches behind the ears.”
The officer who made his own views on law and order clear by wearing the patch will receive a reprimand and disciplinary action in public, and commiserations, high fives, and free rounds of beer from colleagues in private.
Frank Castle has distanced himself from the officer, putting out an official statement that reads: “Hey, asshole! Unlike the cops, my lengthy history of violence is both fictional and untainted by systemic racism. If you’re really a fan, donate to the BLM fundraiser set up by the guy who created me!”