Deadbeat dad behind in health care system payments
TORONTO – A negligent father of over 14 million citizens is still behind in health care system payments. The unprepared political parent only started to reappear in the family picture when …
Precocious orphan affects English accent in desperate bid for “s’more”
LONDON, ON – Having pursued multiple avenues to acquire additional portions of food, local orphan Gordon Durnin has adopted an English accent in an audacious attempt to get “s’more.” “S’mor…
Here are all the butts we found in the National Gallery of Canada
For your convenience and artistic taste, we bring you a tour of all the bare asses we found from the National Gallery of Canada in Ottawa. Butt In The Reflection. Ass Near Faun. Frolicking Derriè…
Study reveals that dogs in fact bork and do not bark
VANCOUVER, B.C – An extensive 38 year study conducted by the University of British Columbia into domesticated dogs species has revealed that every dog in the world actually doesn’t bark, bu…
Dr. Oetker has medical licence revoked
BERLIN – The German Medical Association has announced the immediate and unanimous revocation of the license to practice medicine of Dr. Oetker. “This has been many years coming. We find it shocki…
Dad insistent he won’t use gift he specifically asked for, that you should return it and get something for yourself
REGINA – It was a Rockwell-esque scene Friday morning as Edgar Nyfors surrounded by his family, carefully unwrapped the sole present under the tree with his name. Inside, a Craftsman V20 co…
“You there, boy, what day is it?” says man who hasn’t been outside since March
LONDON, ON- Local man Evan Scranton opened the windows to his bedroom early this morning, pointed at a boy passing-by and asked “You there, boy, what day is it?”, his first in-person interaction …
Ghost of Christmas Future-Perfect tells man everything he will have done wrong
VANCOUVER – In a surprising twist on an old holiday tradition, 33-year-old Artem Brasso found himself visited by more than just the classic three Christmas spirits this Christmas Eve. Short…
RCMP warns of increased sectarian violence ahead of NHL’s new All-Canadian division
OTTAWA, ON – The RCMP has issued a Media Advisory warning Canadians of an increase in bloodshed, property damage and general assholery due to the NHL’s creation of an All-Canadian division,…
Mistletoe gets off on watching
News in Photos.…
