REGINA – Despite claims that physical mail has been declining and gone to the wayside the past two decades, a local Canada Post-Punk rebukes the notion, and states that mail’s not dead.
“Listen, sure, we had our heyday and we don’t deny that it’s not as popular now,” claimed Vince “Bone Marrow” Letterman. “But you look at the new releases coming out by the wayside, zines and specialty stamps- we’ve got a thriving scene here.”
Bone Marrow isn’t alone in his stance. A recent survey of the communities most entrenched in the mail lifestyle shows that there’s still a large number of Canada Post-Punks, despite the lack of cramped, sweaty, local Canada Post venues.
“Look here, I got Eleanor Rosenbaum’s hand-written letter to her grandson, updating them on her dog and the knitting circle. You think the corporate delivery apparatus wants that? Nah, nothing beats the love and affection these DIY-ers put into their projects.”
Despite this punk’s no-nonsense attitude towards their love of local mail, he does admit that sometimes, they need to get serious, and often, play a little dirty.
“Sure we get an ‘Epoch Times’ now and again, but as every punk worth their salt knows, you stop that fascist shit right away, or else it just infests a close-knit community.”
With the COVID pandemic sweeping the world, and people spending more time indoors, Bone Marrow knows that the mail will never die, and that it helps some people with coming to terms with their identity.
“There’s nothing more punk than keeping people together to help each other out, and the scene may have changed since the 80s, but what hasn’t changed is our love for the work, and the lifestyle. Email can’t change that shit.”
Bone Marrow then started his daily route of deliveries, and proceeded to overzealously crowd-kill an Amazon package left out on a house’s porch.