TORONTO – With the NHL offseason in full swing Leafs fans have begun engaging in their usual speculation and prognostication concerning how the team could make itself better by trading some of t...
Disney announces new Pocahontas movie exploring tragic, sympathetic backstory of white Christian imperialism
LOS ANGELES – Following the success of their hit movies MALEFICENT and CRUELLA, Disney have announced that it plans to continue the trend of movies that humanize and sympathize with famous Disne...
Kenney bangs pan to celebrate nurses as they enter meeting to negotiate salary cuts
CALGARY – As representatives from the Nurses’ Union entered the meeting to negotiate how much the Provincial Government would cut their salaries by, Premier Jason Kenney took a moment to h...
Report: Companies moving toward hybrid model where employees work from home part-time but live in office
TORONTO — As normalcy slowly returns to the corporate world, a growing number of companies are taking to heart the lessons learned during the pandemic and allowing returning staff to work from home pa...
Man who inherited Muskoka cottage shares opinion on land sovereignty
Muskoka, ON – Seasonal resident, David Lyons who inherited a million dollar Muskoka cottage, has an opinion on Indigenous land sovereignty. “It doesn’t make sense,” began a 60 year old Lyons, wh...
Bezos, Musk, Branson announce plan to launch giant pile of money into space
SPACEPORT AMERICA — Billionaire entrepreneurs Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and Elon Musk have announced plans to pool their resources to launch a collective $100 billion dollars in unmarked bill...
Preemptive autopsy reveals patient will die from having organs methodically removed
EDMONTON – Breaking new ground in the field of preventative medicine, a team of doctors at the Center for Advanced Medical Research performed a preemptive autopsy on a willing patient and predic...
Alberta punishes frontline workers with free Stampede tickets
CALGARY – Alberta’s doctors, restaurant employees, and other frontline workers will receive free Stampede tickets this year, punishing them for their crucial role in combating COVID. “First the govern...
Team that wasn’t subject to Salary Cap better than teams that were
LAS VEGAS – The Golden knights won the Stanley Cup last night, proving once and for all that, in a salary cap league, a team that blatantly exceeds the salary cap will usually be better than tea...
