OPINION: The only thing better than a good comic book movie is watching different recuts of a bad comic book movie over and over again until I die

By Zack Snyder I’m what you might call a renaissance man. I love comics and movies, so much so that I insist on drawing the entire third act of all of my comic films digitally in post. Good comic…

Nation grateful Rush Limbaugh lived long enough to see Trump lose

OTTAWA – The nation mourned the passing of legendary broadcaster and Conservative provocateur Rush Limbaugh today, but took some comfort in the fact that he saw the human embodiment of his …

Rush Limbaugh slams Satan for his liberal bias

ETERNAL FLAMING REALM OF HELL – Having recently passed away from lung cancer, Rush Limbaugh, upon arriving in Satan’s land of eternal punishment, immediately lambasted the Prince of D…

Doug Ford sets up snitch line for parents who taught kids Sex Ed during lockdown

TORONTO – With the remaining Ontario schools finally open again, Premier Doug Ford is determined to ensure a safe return to the classroom – by setting up a snitch line for heathen parents who tau…

Father giving up on son for Lent

VANCOUVER – Local father James Hanover made a surprise statement on the car ride home from Ash Wednesday church service, announcing that for Lent this year he would be giving up on his elde…

Man storming Canadian capital in buffalo horns turns out to be actual buffalo

OTTAWA – The RCMP are reassuring Canadians that a man in buffalo horns seen storming the Canadian capital earlier this month was not in fact a right-wing insurrectionist, but an actual buff…

Shovelling snow found to be number 1 cause of Canadians muttering ‘fuck this fucking shit’ over and over

OTTAWA – A new study indicates that the biggest cause of Canadians repeatedly exclaiming ‘fuck this fucking shit’ is shovelling snow. “Of all the frustrations that plague …

Trudeau struggles to find astronaut to fill Governor General position

OTTAWA – Following the resignation of Governor General Julie Payette, in the wake of abuse allegations, Prime Minister Trudeau has been having an impossible time finding another astronaut t…

Ground-breaking new show features two mismatched detectives

LOS ANGELES, CA – NBC has announced the spring debut of Police Cops, which will shock and surprise television viewers by making two characters with disparate personalities solve crimes together. …

Hallmark announces holiday movie about woman who realizes her hometown is an irredeemably racist shithole

LOS ANGELES – The Hallmark Channel has announced that it will be expanding its catalogue of original holiday content with a new Valentine’s day movie about a career woman who returns home f…