City of Ottawa announces $2.9 million housing program for Porsches

OTTAWA – The City of Ottawa has announced a generous contribution to a public housing development that will provide needy Porsches unable to find luxury homes and four car garages. Througho…

NHL announces Canucks’ current season will still be happening at beginning of next season

VANCOUVER – The NHL has announced that, in order to get their full 56-game season in the books, the Vancouver Canucks will be continuing to play games from the 2020-2021 during the 2021-202…

4 COVID-Safe activities to do this summer if Doug Ford’s buddies say it’s OK

After 14 months of COVID we’re all anxious to get back to fun summer activities. Unfortunately it doesn’t seem like we’ll be fully vaccinated until September/October, but there …

Report: Casa Loma just some rich guy’s house

TORONTO – After decades of research, local historian Dr. Suraj Burnman has conclusively reported that Casa Loma is just some rich guy’s house. “The way people from Toronto talk about it, yo…

Quëbéc’s nêw Bill 96 will introducé swêèping changês to èxisting Ënglish languagê laws

Montrëal — Thë massivê Frënch-languagë réform bill, Bill 96, would ênablé thè Québécois govèrnmènt to ènact swéêping mêasurès for thé purposé of protëcting thè Frénch languagê. Thé Bill contains …

Anti-mask rally participants contract strange, airborne disease

TORONTO – Rally participants in an anti-lockdown protest in Toronto on Saturday reported they had become ill with some kind of strange, flu-like virus. “I thought at first I couldn’t breath…

Nation’s slashers applaud decision to reopen summer camps

MONT-LAURIER, QC — After being shuttered last year due to the pandemic, summer camps in several provinces have begun preparations to reopen in anticipation of hosting throngs of excited campers a…

Tall couple oblivious to their threatening presence

CALGARY, AB – Towering above their friends at a backyard barbeque last night, local tall couple Morgan LeMarche (6’2”) and Spencer Daniels (6’4”) startled party-goers as they socialized and…

Stephen Harper pretty sure he was sent long-form census on purpose

CALGARY – As Canadians complete their 2021 Census, former PM Stephen Harper is pretty sure it isn’t an accident that he is one of the 25% of people asked to complete the long-form ver…

IT’S SIMPLE! How to book your vaccine using 8 websites, 5 booking IDs, a decoder ring, and the divine providence of Christ

IT’S SIMPLE! How to book your vaccine using 8 websites, 5 booking IDs, a decoder ring, and the divine providence of Christ Vaccine appointments are opening up for Ontarians 18+! We know you might…