Kenney proposes two-tier dying system
EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Jason Kenney is proposing to create more private access to the province’s dying system. The UCP leader says that he has a desire to improve how the government goe…
Jason Kenney assures Albertans he still having “Best Fall Ever”
EDMONTON – As Alberta reels from a 4th of COVID wave brought on by relaxed restrictions during the province’s promised “Best Summer Ever”, premier Jason Kenney assured frightened citizens t…
Half-eaten chip bag retrieved after 8 minutes in cupboard
TORONTO – Reports found that yesterday local copywriter Gavin Issac retrieved his half-eaten family-sized bag of all-dressed potato chips exactly eight minutes and sixteen seconds after pu…
Nation doesn’t care enough about Saskatchewan to be embarrassed by it
REGINA – Despite a record high number of COVID-19 cases and a health system on the verge of collapse, polls indicate that not enough Canadians care about Saskatchewan to make it a national …
Oh Shit! The same people in charge of our COVID response are in charge of our Climate Change response
MONTRÉAL – People across Canada are slowly realizing that the people responsible for the handling of the COVID-19 pandemic are also the same people responsible for handling our response to …
Movement to replace O’Toole as leader stalls after Conservatives look at literally any of their other options
OTTAWA – Momentum for the ‘replace O’Toole’ movement that began on election night appears to have petered out after Conservative Party members took a quick glance at any o…
Disturbing UN prediction: by 2030, 80% of all newborns will be named Jackson
NEW YORK CITY- Representatives from the United Nations shocked the world today with the release of a damning report predicting that by the year 2030, 80% of all newborns will be named Jackson. “W…
Doug Ford says he’s saving all the federal COVID money to buy Ontario a pizza party when pandemic ends
TORONTO – As the billions of relief dollars sent to Ontario by the federal government continue to sit unused, Doug Ford is promising all citizens that, when the time is right, he will spend…
Breaking: Cat apparently eats flowers now
REGINA, SK – Household sources are reporting that, as of 8pm last evening, the cat apparently likes to eat decorative flowers now. This stunning feline development was first witnessed by ca…
Toddler slamming on xylophone mistaken for jazz legend
CALGARY – This past Saturday evening, toddler Jacob Williams was mistaken for jazz legend Duke Ellington while slamming on his xylophone. Jacob was gifted the xylophone at his third birthda…
