Jarvis, ON — In a move experts are calling “genuinely unhinged,” a childless woman was spotted attending the Jarvis Santa Claus Parade entirely of her own volition, raising questions about...
New Canadian trade deal with India only allows for 1 assassination per year
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark Carney and Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi have reportedly outlined a first draft of the Comprehensive Economic Partnership Agreement, which includes a sub-claus...
Metrolinx wins bid to build new Alberta pipeline
EDMONTON – With Ottawa agreeing to fast track construction of a pipeline from Alberta’s oil sands to the Pacific coast, the Alberta legislature announced that Ontario-based transportation company Metr...
U.S. plan to inspect Canadians’ social media overwhelmed by Peter Mansbridge thirst traps
NIAGARA FALLS – A recently U.S. proposal to demand 5 years of social media history from travellers has hit a snag, as American customs agents were wholly overwhelmed by the sheer volume of Peter...
“Am I invading Venezuela for oil or to distract from Epstein?” Trump asks coatrack
MAR-A-LAGO, FL – Sources report President Donald J. Trump was seen questioning his own motivations behind a series of shocking recent moves in Venezuela, along with a close confidant who was lat...
Progressive Conservative joins Progressive Conservative party
OTTAWA – In a stunning move, progressive conservative MP Michael Ma crossed the floor Thursday to the progressive conservative Liberal Party, just a few weeks after similar minded progressive co...
Local man would be angrier about Liberal’s undemocratic floor-crossing scheme if it wasn’t so funny to imagine Poilievre’s face
OTTAWA – Local voter Martin Kofman finds it appalling that the Liberals have clearly hatched a plan to obtain the majority government voters denied them by luring Conservative MPs to cross the f...
Supreme Court of Canada to donate robes to mall Santas in need
OTTAWA – The Supreme Court of Canada has announced it will donate its recently decommissioned crimson fur robes to mall Santas in need. The iconic red and white robes were officially replaced earlier ...
Air Transat strike averted, reads man who now has to fly home for holidays
CALGARY – Air Transat has reached a tentative deal with its pilot union, narrowly avoiding a strike on the cusp of the busy holiday travel period, meaning that Francois Tremblay, 32, will indeed...
TTC promises to get Finch West LRT travel time under 24 hours
“If we get signal priority sorted, you should be able to get from Finch West to Humber in only a standard business day.” Luke and the Panel (Nile Seguin, Clare Blackwood and Megan MacKay) ...
