Samuel Alito cringes at typo in leaked draft accidentally referring to women as “people”
WASHINGTON D.C. – Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito has expressed frustration at an error in his leaked opinion on a pivotal abortion rights case in which he erroneously referred to women …
Delta and Omicron variants jealous that younger XE strain gets away with anything it wants
TORONTO – The Delta and Omicron variants are reportedly upset that they had to deal with the provincial government’s rules and regulations, whereas the younger XE subvariant gets to run wil…
Feminist Win! Supreme Court abortion draft validates what women have been screaming about for years
WASHINGTON D.C. — After a draft opinion was leaked from the Supreme Court yesterday stating the Court’s intention to overturn Roe v. Wade, feminists across the country celebrated finally be…
Wanna see some photos of a kid you don’t know, ya freakin’ weirdos?
Looking for photos of Princess Charlotte, a child you’ve never met, and never will meet? You’ve come to the right place. Here’s a great photo of this child, whose only claim to fame is that…
Experts admit world just going to have to learn to live with seasonal outbreaks of Vladimir Putin
GENEVA – In a long expected admission by assembled health and safety representatives, citizens of countries across the world have been informed that we are all just going to have to endure regula…
Opinion: If corporations can be tried as individuals, then why can’t my ex-boyfriend’s improv team?
TORONTO – The legal doctrine known as corporate personhood states that corporations can be sued just like individual people. So if I can sue a corporation, why the hell can’t I sue my ex-boyfrien…
Ottawa police investigation confirms motorcycles easier to tow than transport trucks
OTTAWA – As crowds gather in the city’s downtown core for the Rolling Thunder motorcycle protest rally, Ottawa Police have released the results of an internal investigation stating that motorcycl…
New research shows the thing you’re doing to cope with your depression is the cause of your depression
CALGARY, AB – A new study from the Centre for Canadian Mental Health and Wellness (CCMHW) found that among Canadians aged 18-35, the near-ubiquitous cause of mental distress was the thing t…
BREAKING: This man can explain why he invested in NFTs but not what an NFT is
TORONTO – Scientists in Toronto have made a startling discovery this week: local man Josh Clybourne is able to justify at length why he invested in NFTs, but seems physically incapable of d…
