No one is ever productive working from home declare CEOs working from Barbados
Sandy Lane, Barbados – A group of Fortune 500 CEOs met over lunch at their Barbados country club to discuss how no one is ever productive when working from home. After two and a half years …
Umpire excited for son to watch him get screamed at
TORONTO – According to local sources, Umpire Thomas Beck is thrilled that his 12-year-old son will have the opportunity to watch him work and be heckled at a Major League Baseball game. “Knowing …
Top 3 Arcade Fire albums to listen to super quick before they’re officially canceled
While it might come as a shock to anyone who isn’t a young woman who frequents hipster bars in Montreal, a bombshell article released on Pitchfork has reported that multiple women have come forwa…
Policy section of Pierre Poilievre’s website contains phrase ‘to play devil’s advocate’ 38 times
OTTAWA – Frontrunner for Conservative Party Leader Pierre Poilievre has released a detailed policy section on his website about what he will do if elected PM, which contains the phrase R…
Ontario to replace five-day Covid isolation period with pinky swear that you’re not still contagious
TORONTO – Ontario’s top doctor Dr. Kieran Moore stated in a press conference yesterday that, given the understanding that Covid cases will rise significantly in the fall with the cold weath…
Ford government gives hospitals the power to send elderly patients to EZ Self Storage
QUEEN’S PARK – Premier Ford’s Ontario PC’s have passed controversial new legislation that could force hospital patients awaiting long-term care to be stored in long-term s…
Mikhail Gorbachev, who we all honestly thought was already dead, dead at 91
MOSCOW – It is with great sadness that we announce Mikhail Gorbachev, who we all honestly thought was already dead, is dead at 91. The former premier of the USSR, Gorbachev was most famousl…
Garage sale host far too willing to share which items belonged to dead wife
SASKATOON — This weekend Sutherland neighbourhood residents gathered at Ronald Keegan’s end-of-summer garage sale, only to find that Ronald is far too inclined to inform buyers which items were o…
10 biggest changes Hockey Canada has made to ensure sexual assaults will not happen under its watch again
In the wake of the horrific accusations of sexual assault at numerous World Juniors events, Hockey Canada has so far stuck by its CEO and upper management, even reaching out to former sponsors an…
Parents wondering why you’re wasting your time trying to find a partner you like
YOUR PARENTS HOUSE – In the never-ending series of life choices you’ve made that baffle your parents, today they are wondering why you’re wasting your time trying to find a partner you like…
