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World
Aleppo residents just feel super bad your favourite celebrities died in 2016
ALEPPO, SYRIA – Residents of the war-torn city of Aleppo in Syria, who have this past year become the victims of further atrocities in the form of random civilian executions, are strongly e…
Trump going to wait for KGB’s assessment before accusing Russia of election tampering
NEW YORK – Following a CIA report that alleges Russian tampered with the 2016 American election, President-elect Donald Trump plans to wait for the KGB’s assessment before accusing Russia o…
Catholics beaten by police during protest over Vatican Access pipeline
VATICAN CITY – After months of mounting tensions over the proposed Vatican Access pipeline, police have begun openly attacking the Catholic protesters, using vicious dogs, rubber bullets, a…
World’s climate scientists now cling to hope that global warming is Chinese hoax
GENEVA — Some of the world’s top climate scientists have penned a letter to the International Journal of Climatology, Friday, expressing their belief that humanity’s only hope for survival …
Covert CIA plot to wait until Fidel Castro dies of old age successful
Langley, VA – A decades-long plot to get Cuban dictator Fidel Castro to pass away peacefully in his sleep has come to fruition, according to a statement from the CIA. “We are proud to annou…
Samsung-Volkswagen partnership will see recalled cars set alight with recalled phones
Black Rock Desert, NV — Two global brands facing separate multi-billion dollar faulty product crises are teaming up to address their problems with a unique sponsorship plan. Under the agre…
Masturbators brace for the worst as DDoS attacks continue
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Following massive cyber-attacks which disrupted web traffic across the United States Friday, the masturbators across the world are bracing for the worst. US President Bar…
ISIS claims responsibility after Saleem’s home-brewed IPA tastes like crap
MISSISSAUGA, ON – Just hours after Saleem cracked the first bottle of his home-brewed ‘Malternative Hop’ IPA, the international terrorist organization ISIS has claimed responsibility and pr…
Trump accuses Clinton of being angry orange-skinned man with bad combover
HARRISBURG, PA – At a campaign rally this week Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump fired off against rival Hillary Clinton, accusing her of being, among other things, ‘a stub…
