LONDON – British Prime Minister Theresa May has secured a coalition government deal with the Democratic Unionist Party of Northern Ireland after promising to re-occupy the Irish Republic.
DUP Leader Arlene Foster announced that the invasion to un-liberate the Irish will begin sometime next week in an effort to recover the former colonial possession which was granted independence in 1922.
“We will support Ms. May’s Conservative government so long as Ireland is returned to its rightful British rulers,” announced Foster. “We will also support the government’s exit from the European Union so long as Catholics are thoroughly disenfranchised in the process.”
Sources at 10 Downing Street explained that May made the Irish re-occupation concession after the DUP said that they would stop using terms such as “Dirty Dogans” and “climate change is an international conspiracy” in their party platform.