AMERICA – To the surprise of international observers, millions of Americans chose to celebrate the anniversary of their declaration of independence today, despite the fact that this decisio…
U.S.
America just going to permanently leave flags at half-mast
AMERICA — In the wake of the latest mass shooting, the United States of America has collectively decided that it makes more sense to leave their flags at half-mast on an ongoing basis. “Low…
Trump excited to welcome ‘Canada Pence’ to White House
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a surprise revelation, Donald Trump announced that he is looking forward to meeting a former Canadian Prime Minister, which he repeatedly referred to as “Canada Pence”. “Tre…
Trump demands his staff be left in peace to eat Mexicans
WASHINGTON D.C. – Following accounts that multiple Trump officials were refused restaurant service this week, the 45th President of the United states demanded via twitter that people “leave my st…
Study: Best way to stop bad guy with gun actually good guy with lawn dart
Baltimore, MA — Americans have been shocked by research from the University of Maryland that reveals, contrary to popular belief, that the best way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with…
Trump admin escalates trade war with Canada by renaming Canadian Bacon ‘Cuck Ham’
WASHINGTON D.C. – In the midst of a tariff dispute with Canada, the Trump admin has moved to escalate the conflict by demanding all American grocery stores and restaurant refer to the cut o…
Canada responds to US tariffs by asking which Trump child they need to bribe
OTTAWA — Following Thursday’s Washington announcement of steel and aluminum tariffs against many of its closest allies, including Canada, Ottawa has asked which Trump kid they need to pay o…
Trump Admin explains 1,475 missing migrant children “not so bad if you think of them as ‘animals'”
WASHINGTON D.C. — Amidst reports that Health and Human Services has lost track of nearly 1,500 unaccompanied migrant minors, White House officials have insisted the number is less horrifyin…
Trump demands two Nobel Peace Prizes for cancelling North Korea Summit
WASHINGTON D.C. — Following the surprise announcement that the White House has unilaterally backed out of a planned summit with North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, President Donald Trump has d…
Rudy Giuliani really feels like he’s starting to get the hang of this
WASHINGTON — After joining President Trump’s legal defense team and embarking on a series of questionable media interviews, Rudy Giuliani has reportedly stated that he is “easing into this …
