TORONTO – After a nearly 30% decline in value, realtors across Toronto are concerned that if the market continues to falter someday in the near future everyone could afford a house. “I don’…
Toronto
Is Prince Edward County the new Hamilton that was the old Toronto?
PICTON – It’s the question that every realtor and prospective buyer is asking. Since we all know that Hamilton has been the new Toronto for several years now, is Prince Edward County the ne…
Toronto Public Library rents space to neo-Nazis after they promise to heil quietly
TORONTO – The Toronto Public Library took a stand yesterday by allowing a planned meeting of prominent neo-Nazis to go forward after the group promised to keep their heiling to a low whispe…
Police investigating after bodies of thousands of slashed prices found under rubble of demolished Honest Ed’s
TORONTO – Following the demolition of Toronto landmark Honest Ed’s, workers on site have discovered chambers underneath the building filled the mutilated bodies of several thousand prices. …
After consulting tenancy act, local woman decides to ask landlord for her kidneys back
TORONTO – After a fractious relationship with her landlord caused her to consult the Ontario Landlord and Tenant Act, local woman Huma Sayeed has decided to ask him for her kidneys back. “I…
The Beer Store launches delivery service in Scarborough to comfort citizens forced to live in Scarborough
SCARBOROUGH — Starting Tuesday, residents in Scarborough will be able to have their beer delivered straight to their door, saving them from having to go out into the barren suburban sprawl …
Prison & Politics: Episode 2
Is it time to raise the prison minimum wage to 15 cents an hour?…
Emergency officials: Is your home 72 hours booze prepared?
TORONTO – Emergency management officials are advising citizens to plan for booze-related disasters by having at least 72 hours worth of alcoholic beverages. “Being aware of the risks of not…
Hanlan’s Point flooding drives nudist herd inland
TORONTO – Prolonged flooding at Hanlan’s Point Beach on the Toronto Island has forced the area’s endemic nudist population to migrate to the mainland, sparking a flurry of nudist sightings …
Toronto Zoo torn down to make room for animal condos
TORONTO – Citing the increasing cost of housing and a higher population density, the Toronto Zoo has announced that they will be tearing down all exhibits to make space for three high-rise …
