TORONTO – Following a Toronto Star investigation revealing that more COVID tests went to private schools than daycares, paramedics, jails, and homeless shelters combined, Premier Doug Ford …
Ontario
“100,000 cases a day totally worth this,” thinks man walking maskless into KFC
Oshawa, ON – Local man Dalton Framer took time to savour the fact that he was finally allowed to walk into a crowded KFC without a mask, regardless of the fact that Ontario is currently fac…
Ontario Conservatives pass law banning people from posting positive COVID tests on social media
TORONTO – As part of their ‘don’t say anything about a 6th wave or we’ll cut you’ approach to managing COVID, Doug Ford and the Conservatives announced a full ban on…
Ontario reaches $10 child-care deal after Doug Ford achieves sole objective of no one getting help for a full year
QUEEN’S PARK – As Ontario becomes the last province to sign a deal on the Federal Government’s $10-per-day child-care plan, Premier Doug Ford took credit for achieving his sole negotiating …
“Liberals and NDP working together to prevent a harmful Conservative government? Weird,” say Horwath and Del Duca simultaneously
TORONTO – As news of the federal Liberals and NDP confidence and supply agreement reached them, both NDP Leader Andrea Horwath and Liberal Leader Steven Del Duca expressed surprise at why t…
Doug Ford informs School Boards they can have mask mandates if they go to Private Schools
QUEEN’S PARK – After appearing to reject the Toronto District School Board’s request to extend mask mandates, Premier Ford clarified that they can keep the mandates provided they begin atte…
Building off COVID strategy, Ontario announces all students got As after they stopped testing
TORONTO – In the wake of the province’s successful ‘if we don’t test for COVID, we won’t have high rates of COVID’ strategy, Education officials have announced…
IN MEMORIAM: Ontario’s vaccine mandate gone too soon
QUEEN’S PARK – In a sad day for public health fans everywhere, the Ontario vaccine mandate was officially confirmed as deceased in the early hours of March 1, 2022. The Ontario vaccine mand…
Ontario opens restaurants to everyone who isn’t immunocompromised or a parent of young kids
ONTARIO – Doug Ford’s government has finally brought to an end the province’s vaccine mandates for restaurants, allowing everyone to once again enjoy dining at the province̵…
Ford insists he’s not dropping vaccine passport to appease convoy, he’s doing it to appease daughter
QUEEN’S PARK – During a press conference to announce that he would be ending Ontario’s proof of vaccination system, Premier Ford clarified that he is not doing this to capitulate to the ang…
