TORONTO — Reports have confirmed that a woman conducting a job interview for a marketing intern position in a crowded local coffee shop, Margie’s, has concerns about whether the applicant will tr…
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Man watching porn on incognito mode pretty sure he has everyone fooled
Timmins, ON – Troy Lambert, a cunning rapscallion, believes he has gotten one over on the universe by watching pornography using google chrome’s incognito mode. “Now no one will know that I…
“Spread cheer at Christmas!” tweets woman who just threw defective holiday candle at 16-year-old cashier
TORONTO – Yesterday afternoon, Sandra Johnson, a mother of three with an active social media presence, tweeted the heart-warming sentiment “Spread cheer at Christmas!” to her followers, just five…
Watchful cat beginning to make introverted ceiling demon nervous
VANCOUVER – A demon that resides in the corner of the Johnson family’s living room ceiling has been growing increasingly concerned about the attentions of its host family’s 14-year-old cat, Mr. S…
Public scandalized by city councillor’s request to be paid as much as camp counselor
OTTER LAKES, B.C. – After a city councillor in the small but growing B.C. community of Otter Lakes (pop. 100000) asked to be paid the same full-time salary as the town’s summer camp counsel…
Stormwatch: That one restaurant patio is still open
TORONTO — Following the recent first major snowfall of the year, Torontonians are bundling up in preparation for the long, cold winter ahead. However, Big Louie’s Bar and Grill has attracted atte…
Local woman spends day off terrified she’s forgetting something
TORONTO – Yesterday, Lindsay Crawford experienced her first full day off in two months, an event that should have involved nothing but stress-free relaxation. However, the 30-year-old spent the e…
$200 winter boots makes man weigh pros and cons of having feet
THUNDER BAY, ON- While out shopping for boots to last through the upcoming Canadian winter, local man Alan Watt began weighing the pros and cons of owning feet, after seeing a $200 price tag. “I …
PC police critic cries after being called ‘boomer’
TORONTO – A 63-year-old culture critic of political correctness broke down in tears after being called a ‘boomer.’ Bill Klassen, a retired car dealership manager was giving a lecture on how…
Kidnappers arrested for taking the girl out of the country, but not the country out of the girl
TORONTO – Yesterday afternoon, David Watts and Reggie Gormley were arrested and jailed after abducting 25-year-old Kaylyn Wilkins from her farm the night before and bringing her into the city. Th…