MONTREAL, QC- After waking up in the afternoon for the eighth day in a row and taking out a hand rolled cigarette from the back pocket of his $380 jeans while looking out over his downtown loft b…
Culture
Longtime Stephen King fans criticize new IT adaptation for not being bad
BANGOR, ME — Following the recent big screen success of Stephen King’s IT, hardcore fans of the horror author’s previous adaptations demand to know why the new remake is not also completely…
“Ozark” added to federal watch-later list
OTTAWA – In a press release today, the RCMP updated its Must Watch List for 2018, with Netflix’s Ozark taking the top spot. “After receiving intel that Ozark is really good from my cousin T…
Couple spends weekend binge watching their relationship die
REGINA – Local couple Cameron Lacks and Joel Divago are excited to unwind after a long work week by spending the weekend binge watching their relationship die. “My last relationship I would…
Bat mitzvah ruined as girl’s face melts during ark-opening ceremony
THORNHILL – A Bat Mitzvah for twelve-year-old Thornhill girl Revi Spivak took a tragic turn when her face melted off her skull during the p’tikhah, the ceremonial opening of the ark that contains…
Disney casts Amy Adams, Benedict Cumberbatch as leads in upcoming live-action Mulan film
LOS ANGELES – Speaking before an assembled group of industry press earlier this week, Disney spokesperson Ian Glenn enthusiastically unveiled the casting of Hollywood stars Amy Adams and Benedict…
TIFF TIPS: How to finally catch Atom Egoyan and get his treasure
The Toronto International Film Festival has descended on The Six once again, and that can only mean one thing: the trickster Atom Egoyan will once again appear, and taunt media and fans alike wit…
Producers of “It” reboot assure audience it won’t contain book’s infamous scene of children having gluten
LOS ANGELES – It producers want to assure potential moviegoers that the film will not contain the book’s infamous scene of a group of eleven-year-olds having gluten with each other. “As art…
Jason Statham cast as Tinky Winky in gritty Teletubbies reboot
LOS ANGELES – Miramax has recently announced that action star Jason Statham has landed the coveted role of Tinky Winky in the upcoming live-action reboot of beloved British children’s show …
Opinion: I could acknowledge R. Kelly’s alleged sex cult, but then I couldn’t play ‘Ignition (Remix)’ at parties
By: Amanda Caparillo Since it has come to light that R. Kelly has been imprisoning underage girls in a sex cult for several years, I have considered acknowledging his crimes, but that song “Remix…
