LOS GATOS, CA – After years starring as Frank Underwood, Netflix has announced it is ending production of House of Cards, one of its most popular series, following historical allegations the show’s star, Kevin Spacey, made sexual advances toward a 14 year old boy.
“I mean, yeah, I guess that’s the line,” said a spokesperson for the company, explaining why it no longer wants Spacey associated with Frank Underwood, an evil, scheming character known for deceit, coercion, corruption, conspiracy, murder, assassination, assault, infidelity, sexual manipulation, breaking the fourth wall, and general malevolence.
“We will not be complicit in the glorification of morally bankrupt men who behave despicably and are protected by their positions of power,” said Dan Chapman, one of the show’s producers, which centres around a morally bankrupt man who behaves despicably and is protected by his position of power for six seasons.
Spacey has responded to the allegations with a tweet in which he also acknowledged that he is gay. This drew wide criticism from members of the gay community who felt they had been figuratively thrown under a train to deflect the news story. “Clearly, this isn’t compatible with the Frank Underwood brand,” said Chapman. Underwood’s character who (spoiler alert) literally throws someone under a train to deflect a news story in season two.
Netflix assures its subscribers that there’s still plenty to watch on the streaming service, including several Harvey Weinstein movies, half a dozen Woody Allen films and four Louis C. K. specials.