Ottawa – The Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission has ruled that 20% of all content illegally downloaded must be produced in Canada and have noticeable Canadian theme…
Culture
“I know exactly how to fix America” claims teenager who just watched Fight Club for the first time
COCHRANE, AB – Local teen Ryan Killicky claims that he has the answer of how to fix the massive social and political turmoil occurring within the United States, and that the solution lies w…
TV series you watched every single episode of in one night just okay
YOUR LIVING ROOM – After watching all three seasons of that new Netflix show in a single sitting, you got up from your nest of blankets, crumbs, and pillows that you rage-screamed into — an…
New streaming service has all the movies from your childhood you never realized contain a sexual assault
SAN FRANCISCO – New start-up streaming service WatchThis (short for Why Did My Parents Let Me Watch This) promises all the nostalgia you can stomach by featuring movies you loved as a kid t…
#TBT to the time you first heard Louis C.K. was a sexual predator!
OMG! It’s finally happened. After years of… let’s call them “rumours” – at least five women have come forward to say that Louis C.K. abused his position of power to whip it out and start ma…
Nation races to watch their favourite artists’ work before they’re revealed to be sexual predators too
Are you motivated enough to sit through all of Horace and Pete?…
Local woman has hundreds of facebook statuses ready to go for celebrities yet to die
CRANBROOK, BC – Claiming “you can’t be too prepared”, local woman Lori Patel revealed this week that she has mournful Facebook statuses ready to go for the upcoming deaths of hundreds of ce…
As male filmmakers are sidelined by scandal, Hollywood turns to films directed by boys
LOS ANGELES – The increasing number of male directors embroiled in sexual harassment and abuse scandals has threatened to shut down all film production in Hollywood, leaving studios in a state of…
Netflix finds Kevin Spacey too morally deficient to play Frank Underwood
LOS GATOS, CA – After years starring as Frank Underwood, Netflix has announced it is ending production of House of Cards, one of its most popular series, following historical allegations th…
Society ready to hate nerds again
THE WHOLE WORLD – Citing factors such as Young Sheldon, GamerGate, and the fact that Star Wars gets crammed down our collective throats every goddamn Christmas now, society as a whole has a…
