Los Gatos, CA – People everywhere are at a loss for new content across many of the streaming giants, but it’s none other than OG streaming service and self-described “thots” Netflix that is…
Culture
OPINION: It’s time to reopen the Ark of the Covenant
As we all know, we are in the middle of a singularly unique crisis right now. The world is hurting and needs help. That is why it’s the time for us to quit acting like wimps and fully reopen the …
Caroline In The City cast reunites for pandemic episode for some reason
HOLLYWOOD — As people across the world continue to self-quarantine during the COVID-19 crisis, the cast of mid-90s NBC sitcom Caroline In The City will reunite for a one-time pandemic-theme…
Housemate sure picked hell of a time to get back into Ska
SUDBURY — Amidst a global pandemic and strict social distancing rules that require Canadians to stay at home unless absolutely necessary, local housemate Mark Thomson has sure picked a hell of a …
New Twilight novel leads to mass riots as world forced to choose between Edward and Jacob once again
FORKS, WA – Fifteen years after the vampire-romance novel Twilight was published, author Stephanie Meyer has announced that a prequel will be released this August. The news of the upcoming …
“It’s five o’clock somewhere,” chants self-isolating woman three times into mirror to summon wine delivery
TORONTO – As lockdown-induced boredom sets in across Canada, many people are turning to alcohol to liven up their socially-isolated lives. When faced with long LCBO lines and expensive delivery f…
Calgary Stampede cancelled, chuckwagon horses to be euthanized anyway
CALGARY – After announcing that the Calgary Stampede would be cancelled for the first time in its 108-year history due to the COVID-19 pandemic, Stampede organizers were at pains to stress …
Sign language interpreters now surpass rock stars in jobs that fuck
VANCOUVER – COVID-19 isn’t the only fever spreading these days. According to a recent poll, sign language interpreters now outrank rock stars when it comes to jobs that fuck. Due to the cur…
Business casual dress code no longer includes pants
HAMILTON, ON – Hundreds of workplaces across Canada have officially updated the definition of their business casual dress code to no longer include pants during working hours. “Instilling a…
Comedy community rallies to create online show that people will also not watch
SKYPE – In a heartwarming story of determination, the local comedy community has rallied together to create an online show that people will also not watch. “I just started thinking of all t…
