CALGARY – Journalists who visited the residency claimed by UPC Leader Jason Kenney for a housing allowance found a man who suspiciously resembled Jason Kenney wearing a wig and a night gown…
Alberta
Train carrying fresh water derails, contaminating Alberta’s oil sands
FORT MCMURRAY, AB – A freight train carrying over 50,000 litres of fresh water has derailed, devastating several open pit mines and tailing ponds in the Fort McMurray area. No injuries were…
Yellow vests in Canada: ‘We’re not racist if you ignore the things we say and do’
EDMONTON – Setting the record straight, members of the populist yellow vest movement are claiming that they are tolerant and respectful if you ignore what they have been saying and doing. “…
Notley to cut 8.7% of the Edmonton Oilers
EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Rachel Notley announced that she would be cutting 8.7% of the Edmonton Oilers. Citing the team’s overall poor performance for the past two seasons, Notley said th…
New law forces Albertans to carry at least one barrel of bitumen in luggage when travelling to West Coast
EDMONTON – In response to an industry-wide glut caused by an inability to get its oil to Pacific tankers, the Notley government has decreed that every Albertan travelling to the West Coast …
Comrade Kenney demands Alberta politburo lower oil quotas
EDMONTON – Comrade Jason Kenney, member of the United Commissar Party is demanding Premier Notley’s politburo decrease oil production by 10 percent. Comrade Kenney made a stirring speech ra…
Calgary euthanizes aging Olympic mascots
CALGARY – With the fate of the Calgary Winter Olympics bid rejected by the public in a plebiscite, beloved 1988 Winter Olympic mascots Hidy and Howdy were euthanized yesterday. Those in fav…
Alberta looking for loving billionaire parents to adopt province’s 2000 orphan oil wells
EDMONTON – The government of Alberta is putting out a call today to find billionaires willing to take on the responsibility of caring for the province’s 2000 orphaned oil and gas wells aban…
Jason Kenney claims he has ‘evolved’ from an anti-LGBTQ politician to one who doesn’t admit it while being recorded
CALGARY – After a recording released this week revealed that, in 2000, UCP leader Jason Kenney took strong positions against gay marriage and gay adoption, Kenny is defending himself by poi…
Edmonton hockey fans counting down the days until Oilers are mathematically eliminated from playoffs
EDMONTON — As the Oilers took the ice for their final exhibition game Saturday night, Jeff Kawchuk and Doug Mason stood behind the end boards beaming like kids on Christmas Eve. “175 days,”…
