SAN FRANCISCO – It’s been another chaotic week at Twitter headquarters after company owner and CEO Elon Musk revealed he would only hand over his position as CEO to someone who could solve …
Twitter bans replying ‘lol’ to any joke not made by Elon Musk
SAN FRANCISCO – Twitter announced a surprising change to its Terms of Use today, informing users that replying ‘lol’, ‘lmao’, ‘haha’, and any variant thereof to any account othe…
Poilievre excited to show off his new Trump NFT trading cards during House of Commons recess
OTTAWA – As Canada’s federal legislators prepare to return home for their six-week winter break, the leader of the Conservative Party was seen running out of the House of Commons chamber to…
Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future quit rather than take assignment to visit Elon Musk
THE ETHEREAL PLANE – The magical spirits who normally visit rich monsters on Christmas Eve in order to get them to become caring human beings have all resigned from their positions after th…
This winter’s hottest beauty trend: Conventional attractiveness
Temperatures are low, nights are long, and cuffing season is in full swing. But what are the most up-to-date hair, beauty, and fashion trends you should be following this year to turn heads durin…
Historians unearth the pagan roots of Cyber Monday, reveal its origin in the ancient festival of CompuServehain
CAMBRIDGE – Historians studying ancient documents from the dawn of the information age have recently discovered that the holiday known today as Cyber Monday can be traced all the way back t…
New bird added to endangered species list
Experts agree this species will almost certainly become extinct due to human activity, in this case the activity of a single human.…
Danielle Smith graciously admits that genocide might be as bad as antivaxxers not getting to go to the movies
EDMONTON – Danielle Smith made international headlines during her first day as premier of Alberta by claiming that the unvaccinated are the most discriminated-against group she’d ever seen,…
Alberta finally freed from woke agenda of left-wing ideologue Jason Kenney
EDMONTON – Upon the news that Danielle Smith has won the UCP leadership race and will be the province’s new premier, Albertans heaved a collective sigh of relief that socialist madman Jason…
Closer to Earth than it’s been in decades, Jupiter can’t believe how much Earth has let itself go
THE SOLAR SYSTEM – As Jupiter recently made its closest approach to the planet Earth since 1963, it was shocked and saddened to see how much the only habitable planet in the known universe …