Laval, QC – Humanity’s quest to discover the fundamental truth about our existence has been solved, as it turns out to be located in the personal story section of a recipe for homemad…
Toronto residents announce plans to pronounce even fewer letters in word ‘Toronto’
TORONTO – Local residents have announced plans to continue dropping letters from their pronunciation of the name of their city. “In the 50s we made the choice to drop the second T, an…
Hockey Night In Canada names Piers Morgan new host of Coach’s Corner
TORONTO – Hockey Night in Canada announced today that they were bringing back their long-running Coach’s Corner first-intermission segment with Ron MacLean and new ‘Coach’ Piers Morgan. “Pi…
UK: don’t say bad things about our rich mummy
LONDON – The United Kingdom reacted with outrage to jokes about Queen Elizabeth II’s passing by demanding everyone stop saying bad things about their rich mummy. “Rich mummy was…
OPINION: In retrospect Julie Payette was the perfect representative for the Royal Family
By: Martin Day, Royal Observer Earlier this year, when it was revealed that Julie Payette was an abusive boss who treated people terribly, I was one of the loudest voices calling for her to resig…
How to continue feeling superior to Americans while watching them get the vaccine months before you
If there is one thing that has sustained Canadians through the tough times of the last year, as well as the tough times of literally every year before that, it’s our ardent belief that we a…
Trudeau clarifies that Saudi Arabia isn’t an ally, just an acquaintance we sell a fuckton of weapons to
OTTAWA – In the wake of US Intelligence concluding that Saudi Arabian Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman was personally involved in the murder of Jamal Khashoggi, Prime Minister Trudeau clari…
Party that promised to institute Pharmacare votes against Bill to institute Pharmacare because it would too quickly institute Pharmacare
OTTAWA – The Liberal Party, which campaigned on instituting a national Pharmacare program, recently rejected attempts by the NDP to institute a national Pharmacare program, on the grounds t…
Erin O’Toole promises that Conservatives will always occupy the political centre of the far right
OTTAWA – With more Conservative MPs appearing to embrace right-wing conspiracy theories, Leader of the Opposition Erin O’Toole is assuring all Canadians that the Conservative Party of…
Man currently paying out of pocket for dentist, therapist and medication grateful to live in country with Universal Healthcare
Kingston, ON – Local man Brandon Struthers, who currently spends thousands of dollars a year on healthcare, feels so lucky to live in a country where the government provides for everyone…
